Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Random question 14.

1.  If someone wrote a book about your life, what would they title it?  Write the first chapter.
i cant really think of a title so i guess it would just be my full name they would title it. uh so i guess my first paragraph would be...
by the way I'm writing this i like 30 minutes so yes :x


   I was born on September 25 1998, weighing at 9 pounds and not deaf :) . My beautiful and wonderful strong mother gave birth to me holding me in her stomach for 9 months long going through some difficulties with my dad but still making it through the pregnancy happily waiting for her water to break. My mom was scared out her mind giving birth to me since i was coming out legs first. She thought she would lose me, scared to think that she wouldn't be able to see her daughter that she has been holding for 9 months and grown to love. I remember my mom told me that when i was born my doctor said if she wanted to hold me ONCE i was born without a cleaning or anything and she said no for them to wash me :x.
         Growing older I went through many things, no i may have not grown up being "poor" or having any problems growing up in the "hood"but as a little girl I've seen what a child should not see their parents go through at such a young age. Crying for my mom was an everyday thing, seeing her sad always made me sad and everyday i would just hope to see a REAL smile on her face. My parents an on and off couple with a child, then finally they broke up for a LONG time but ended up together again. While they wasn't together I seen my mother much more happier then the past. Smiling all the time and i didn't mind another father figure in my life because i knew my mom was really happy with him. While my parents were broken up my older cousin, little cousin, aunt, and one of my cousin father moved in with us. I was really happy with them moving in, the main reason was because with out them in my house i felt alone. I had no one to interact with, although me and my older cousin fought and argued almost everyday i was really happy being with him because he was like an older brother i never had. After 2 years they moved out, but they don't live to far so i get to see them whenever i want (: . 
         As a child and still now as a teenager i feel a lot of pressure on me, and the need to help my parents a lot with translating. I ALWAYS have to translate for my parents and its just frustrating because i wasn't able to do much thing as a kid as much as others because it was like i was the adult, telling my parents everything everybody said and sometimes id just get soooooooo FRUSTRATED ! I at times get soooo mad wishing my parents were deaf, when i want to go somewhere sometimes i cant because I'd have to go and help my parents with something. I was really disrespectful when i was younger always taking advantage of my parents with the cursing under my breath knowing they won't hear me or anything and I've done some disrespectful stuff to my parents that i regret. I treated my mom like crap when i was about 10 or 11 and i REGRET IT SOOO SOOO SOOOO MUCH ! But sometimes I'm glad because that helped me realized that I AM THE CHILD in the family and my moms the ADULT, and it just helped me see how my mom really has a big heart and is just a really strong person and i know I'd be nothing without her. I knew that someday i would lose her as i grow older so i now try to take advantage to spend time with my mom and try not to stress her out. 
      My family always considered me the smart child in the family :x , good grades, goody goody in front of my family, not cursing too much in front of them and always seemed so focused on school work and nothing negative. BUT that was just me putting up a front in front of my family, don't get me wrong i am focused on school and i am mature and etc etc but just different. but sometimes i regret putting up a front because now that i slowly try to show them how i really act, and that i'm not ALWAYS thinking about school 24/7 they think that i'm changing when i'm really not, i'm just trying to break free from the image that they seen me as when i was 8. Sometimes i wish they wouldn't treat me SOOO SOOO much different then all my other cousins just because they depend on me to make and not be as foolish as the elders in my family was. All my cousins can have boyfriends or girlfriends, I CANT ! All my cousins can go out without any problem from the family, but if IIIIII go out too much its a HUGE problem. My cousins can have boys over and able to introduce their boyfriends or girlfriend to their moms ( but they have to be together for a long time before introducing) BUT ME ? Nope, i can't even be caught with a boy outside. I don't know why, I wish they can see that i WON'T, I REFUSE to let them down when it comes to my education. I wish they would know that nothing won't get in my way, i wish i can have the same privileges my cousins get without having to hide it from my parents :/ .
      I lost many friends but of course for many reasons, but i mean things happen for a reasons right ? Fake friends? I've had a lot of those. Two faced people? OF COURSE. Attention seekers ( oh man i hate those) ? SOOOOOOOO MANY OF THOSE ! And then theres the friendships that the people just drift away.  I mean, you get the point right? I mean i am grateful for them of course, because before all them i thought life was just all WHOOOPIDY DOO, just unicorns and rainbows, but they helped me realize you go through many things that make life un-perfect i guess but they helped in many ways. It helped me realize i shouldn't really call people my friends until i really get to know them and really feel out and see how they are. Well I won't say i experience everything as a teenager because i definitely haven't. I'm going to high school in a few months and..... well you know how that goes. More fake friends, more rumors, just more of everything but for now i guess i can enjoy life for right now before anymore drama enters my life :]] .

1 comment:

A.ortega said...

i WOULD read your book its sorta interesting