Are there any standards you feel you have to live up to?
Yes, theres TONS. Well, with friends- I feel like SOME my friends expect me to like look nice everyday and look perfect and have my hair perfect and have like a pretty outfit when i think - Whats the point?No one to impress. They won't say it obviously, but just the things they'd say like you look crazy today or like your hair looks messy today or this and that like um its only school am i suppose to come with a fricking party dress to learn? NOOO. Its just annoying, like I hate feeling like people expect me not to look messy sometimes, to not care how i look. Like shoot -_- ! Also, this thing with my family ! Its like i gotta put up different covers and mask for each person. My dad, He's one of the main reasons why i try and do good in school, he tends to talk about me a lot to his friends, saying how smart i am and how I'm on the road to success and how i have no boyfriends and I'm not like other teenagers and stuff. But once i make on mistake like a NORMAL teenager its like he goes bizarre. And yes i understand I'm his little girl and whatever the case is but he just doesn't let me makes mistakes ! And i feel like my parents focus on the BAD i do, but NEVER acknowledge the good i do ALL the time pretty much. I feel like they should be proud of me, because honestly if he REALLY knew what kids do now and days and compare to things I DO he'd be proud but he doesn't see how much of a good kid i really am. And also another thing, i would say honestly with having pretty much no role model i do really good as a kid. School is my FIRST priority but yet he seems as if he's disappointed cause I hang out with boys, or just simple stuff. My MOM - I hate how she NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER acknowledges anything i do, she ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS focuses on bad stuff i do and brings it up all the time. And she ALWAYS compares me to others and just says how perfect this person is and that, but she never rewards me for the things i do, the grades i get in school, how grown I've become and just anything like that and i hate it ! Sometimes i just feel like crying because i hate being compared because HONESTLY SPEAKING - i DO try, everything i do is just to try and get ONE little compliment out my mom, even if its just a simple i'm proud of you. She always compares me to herself to when she was little but um I PLAN ON FINISHING COLLEGE ! She always talks about how she had to grow up fast because she had 6 younger siblings to care for- growing up poor but she just doesn't meet me halfway and see my side of stuff. My Aunt, she just looks as me as the smart, kind, mature neice. Once she finds out I like a little bit of eyeliner she gives me a whole lecture and whatever. I HATE how she treats me SOOOOOOOO MUCH differently than all my other cousins because she expects so much of me. I don't mind her expecting stuff from me but she doesn't understand i want to be treated equally as my cousins. Able to have a boyfriend and hang out with friends without getting in trouble and thinking I'm trying to grow up to fast or whatever ! I guess she just dont want me to ruin my future with boys like how my cousin did with having a baby really young and not going to college. But i AM going to college and stuff like that and i just wish she would treat me differently.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Random question 3O.
Question - Discuss how you think people change themselves to fit in.
Oh mane there is MANY MANY MANY ways people change themselves to "fit in" but never happens but still they try! I'm not going to talk about the stereotype stuff that happens in movies, I'm going to talk about the real deal that I think happens in THIS SCHOOL. Well, at least from my perspective.
Boys in 188. - Well theres a group of boys in this school who are like i guess really close and tend to like be known and people tend to like respect them or like just be known or IDK just stuff like that. They're just them, i guess like in movies- they'd be the football team of the school ( except we don't have a football team ! ). They're the ones girls end up liking or flirting with, or the LOSERS would try and be like -_-. Alright, so yeah THEM ^ . They have quite a few followers and well i find it quite annoying how the followers wont just be original and do their own thing but instead they follow the boys. They try and dress nice thinking they got "swag", they think they can get girls and they think they're in the "IN CREW" when they're really not. They try and be funny but they're just CORNY, they think cause the got some sort of name brand when, NO ONE really notices so they have to SHOW OFF to even get it noticed. They try and think they cool and be disrespectful to girls or other people when they just look Plain STUPID. I would point out names, cause i really don't care but I'm in quite a good mood so I'm just going to leave it alone. But the thing is, with those boys ( the NON followers who i guess are known for their stupidity ) at the end of the day would never gain respect them, or be friends with them like that, and just end up getting curved by them either way but of course they keep trying. When honestly i don't know why, since you're only going to know them for another 2 months then we all are pretty much going our separate ways! i guess to be with the boys, you gotta have that "special something" i guess to be in there. I think its just be FUNNY and yourself or at least cute.
Girls - Oh man oh man, well I think a lot of girls try WAY to hard. Once they see a girl they want to be like, they'll do ANYTHING to be like them. I find it extremely annoying. They try and do the same hairstyle as them, same sort of clothing, DO AND SAY the same things as them and pretty much JUST act like them. And another thing is, they'll be with them to show boys that they're friends or whatever. Its like when a trend sets for girls and one person gets it, their follower would get it which i find annoying. They agree with anything they say, JUST PLAIN ANYTHING. I mean just stop trying honestly -___________-, come up with your own style, be YOURSELF. Because at the end of the day even if a girl doesn't say it, secretly she probably won't really like you because you try to hard. I really wanna names here but lets not :)
Oh mane there is MANY MANY MANY ways people change themselves to "fit in" but never happens but still they try! I'm not going to talk about the stereotype stuff that happens in movies, I'm going to talk about the real deal that I think happens in THIS SCHOOL. Well, at least from my perspective.
Boys in 188. - Well theres a group of boys in this school who are like i guess really close and tend to like be known and people tend to like respect them or like just be known or IDK just stuff like that. They're just them, i guess like in movies- they'd be the football team of the school ( except we don't have a football team ! ). They're the ones girls end up liking or flirting with, or the LOSERS would try and be like -_-. Alright, so yeah THEM ^ . They have quite a few followers and well i find it quite annoying how the followers wont just be original and do their own thing but instead they follow the boys. They try and dress nice thinking they got "swag", they think they can get girls and they think they're in the "IN CREW" when they're really not. They try and be funny but they're just CORNY, they think cause the got some sort of name brand when, NO ONE really notices so they have to SHOW OFF to even get it noticed. They try and think they cool and be disrespectful to girls or other people when they just look Plain STUPID. I would point out names, cause i really don't care but I'm in quite a good mood so I'm just going to leave it alone. But the thing is, with those boys ( the NON followers who i guess are known for their stupidity ) at the end of the day would never gain respect them, or be friends with them like that, and just end up getting curved by them either way but of course they keep trying. When honestly i don't know why, since you're only going to know them for another 2 months then we all are pretty much going our separate ways! i guess to be with the boys, you gotta have that "special something" i guess to be in there. I think its just be FUNNY and yourself or at least cute.
Girls - Oh man oh man, well I think a lot of girls try WAY to hard. Once they see a girl they want to be like, they'll do ANYTHING to be like them. I find it extremely annoying. They try and do the same hairstyle as them, same sort of clothing, DO AND SAY the same things as them and pretty much JUST act like them. And another thing is, they'll be with them to show boys that they're friends or whatever. Its like when a trend sets for girls and one person gets it, their follower would get it which i find annoying. They agree with anything they say, JUST PLAIN ANYTHING. I mean just stop trying honestly -___________-, come up with your own style, be YOURSELF. Because at the end of the day even if a girl doesn't say it, secretly she probably won't really like you because you try to hard. I really wanna names here but lets not :)
Random question #29.
Well before i start to answer my question i wanted to talk about what just happened 2O minutes ago :') . Well after Mr.Lahana spoke to the class as a whole to talk about new lessons and stuff; TODAY April 20 Mr.Lahana said i should be a blogger :] because i have been his best poster since Sabrina from 3 years ago :) . Well yeah just wanted to put that out there and YES I'm HYPE ! I don't care !
But yes back to the question - If you change one thing about yourself, what would you change? Why?
If i was able to change something about myself it would definitely be my mood swings. I get annoyed very very quickly and like for some reason i can be happy one moment and they just be easily mad without anyone saying anything to me. If its too quiet and I'm with someone thinking about something and then people start talking i get mad and just tons of other stuff but yeah i hate then about myself but then i don't. The reason i sorta like that about myself is that , since i get mad easily people don't really step all over me and stuff like that how they do with couple of other girls ( certain boys) because i guess they just want to see the bad side of me. But i hate how i just get really mad out of no where or annoyed and i hate when it happens with my mom, when she just talks to me at the wrong moments.. I think im bipolar like no joke - not just saying that.. But III think i should like take something or do something that release my anger and stuff so i wouldn't burst out on people for no reason. But i think having those moods swings makes me WHO i am so i wouldn't really care to change it.
But yes back to the question - If you change one thing about yourself, what would you change? Why?
If i was able to change something about myself it would definitely be my mood swings. I get annoyed very very quickly and like for some reason i can be happy one moment and they just be easily mad without anyone saying anything to me. If its too quiet and I'm with someone thinking about something and then people start talking i get mad and just tons of other stuff but yeah i hate then about myself but then i don't. The reason i sorta like that about myself is that , since i get mad easily people don't really step all over me and stuff like that how they do with couple of other girls ( certain boys) because i guess they just want to see the bad side of me. But i hate how i just get really mad out of no where or annoyed and i hate when it happens with my mom, when she just talks to me at the wrong moments.. I think im bipolar like no joke - not just saying that.. But III think i should like take something or do something that release my anger and stuff so i wouldn't burst out on people for no reason. But i think having those moods swings makes me WHO i am so i wouldn't really care to change it.
Monday, April 16, 2012
One direction - Harry.
Random question.
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
YES, if i knew i only had a a year left to live i would take advantage of every moment i have. I would not waste any moment just sitting down being bored. I would try and make a bucket list of things i would never imagine I'd do because i have many years left to live. I'd do crazy stuff like swim with dolphin, travel anywhere, and just do stuff i want to accomplish. I would tell everything to my mom that I had lied to her about, and stop acting differently towards my other side of the family. I would never spend any time just being boring. Right now, since so far theres more of a possibility i will make it through the year alive, I usually just do the same thins everyday which is go to school, go home or sometimes hang out with friends and go home which is an daily routine. I'd just make the most out of my year left of life so i can die knowing i accomplish everything i wanted to do.
YES, if i knew i only had a a year left to live i would take advantage of every moment i have. I would not waste any moment just sitting down being bored. I would try and make a bucket list of things i would never imagine I'd do because i have many years left to live. I'd do crazy stuff like swim with dolphin, travel anywhere, and just do stuff i want to accomplish. I would tell everything to my mom that I had lied to her about, and stop acting differently towards my other side of the family. I would never spend any time just being boring. Right now, since so far theres more of a possibility i will make it through the year alive, I usually just do the same thins everyday which is go to school, go home or sometimes hang out with friends and go home which is an daily routine. I'd just make the most out of my year left of life so i can die knowing i accomplish everything i wanted to do.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Random question 27.
You discover a crystal ball that can tell you the truth about ONE thing in your life– past, future, or present. What would you want to know?
If i could know one truth about my life whether its the past future or present i would choose to know how my future would be. I would want to know if i would reach my dream goal which is be a successful actress and live happily. I would want to know what friends would be surrounding me and stay there for me until the end. I would want to see what kind of person i would turn out to be, whether I'd be a caring and giving person or would be a mean and selfish person. Will i be rich or would i be normal. I want to know if I'm going to date a Caucasian, African American, Spanish or whatever. Will they be in the same business as me? Will I have a big family or would i Just adopt as i said i wanted to do. I want to know everything about my future, i want to know if I'm going to be satisfied or I'm going to be upset with my future and try to change it up my changing my actions NOW. But yes, I'm hoping I do end up being a successful famous actress with lot of money and i adopt a bunch of kids and be happily married. Honestly if i don't i would be sort of sad and disappointed that i didn't push myself enough to reach my dream life goal. I WOULD go and see like a fortunate teller or what not but i heard going to a fortunate teller is a sin and honestly i don't want to risk going to a fortunate teller and not being able to go to heaven. Lmfaooo
If i could know one truth about my life whether its the past future or present i would choose to know how my future would be. I would want to know if i would reach my dream goal which is be a successful actress and live happily. I would want to know what friends would be surrounding me and stay there for me until the end. I would want to see what kind of person i would turn out to be, whether I'd be a caring and giving person or would be a mean and selfish person. Will i be rich or would i be normal. I want to know if I'm going to date a Caucasian, African American, Spanish or whatever. Will they be in the same business as me? Will I have a big family or would i Just adopt as i said i wanted to do. I want to know everything about my future, i want to know if I'm going to be satisfied or I'm going to be upset with my future and try to change it up my changing my actions NOW. But yes, I'm hoping I do end up being a successful famous actress with lot of money and i adopt a bunch of kids and be happily married. Honestly if i don't i would be sort of sad and disappointed that i didn't push myself enough to reach my dream life goal. I WOULD go and see like a fortunate teller or what not but i heard going to a fortunate teller is a sin and honestly i don't want to risk going to a fortunate teller and not being able to go to heaven. Lmfaooo
Random question 26
If you knew your child would be severely retarded and would die at the age of 5, would you decide to have an abortion?
Honestly speaking, I would have an abortion. Getting pregnant is very serious and can be very exciting and what not, you're going to have a child you would most likely fall in LOVE with because IT IS your own child you gave birth to.
If the doctor was to tell me my child was to come out retarded i would most likely keep my child. I don't think it matter wether or not my kid comes out retarded or regular because i will still love my child. I will be so in love with my child that having my child come out retarded wouldn't even matter to me. I don't believe a child should be killed or have people look at them differently just because they child has a disability.
BUT, the reason i would have an abortion is because i know my child would be dying at the age of 5. I don't want to have a child which i know has a short time limit on life. I don't want to spend each year of my child getting older and older, worrying that we are a day OR year closer to my kids death. I don't want to grow & LOVE my child, just to lose them after 5 years. Thats like me losing my sister at age 5, my sister means the world to me and finding out we have a limited amount of time to spend time with her I'd be extremely depressed forever and ever. I don't want to be so deeply in love with my child just to lose them sooner or later. I'm scared of being extremely depressed and heartbroken and i know losing my child would drive me into depression. I'd rather just have the abortion, instead of getting to know my child & learning to love my child too much to lose them. It may sound harsh to get an abortion; i know but its just to save my feelings and also for my child. For them to just experience 5 years of life then just die.
Honestly speaking, I would have an abortion. Getting pregnant is very serious and can be very exciting and what not, you're going to have a child you would most likely fall in LOVE with because IT IS your own child you gave birth to.
If the doctor was to tell me my child was to come out retarded i would most likely keep my child. I don't think it matter wether or not my kid comes out retarded or regular because i will still love my child. I will be so in love with my child that having my child come out retarded wouldn't even matter to me. I don't believe a child should be killed or have people look at them differently just because they child has a disability.
BUT, the reason i would have an abortion is because i know my child would be dying at the age of 5. I don't want to have a child which i know has a short time limit on life. I don't want to spend each year of my child getting older and older, worrying that we are a day OR year closer to my kids death. I don't want to grow & LOVE my child, just to lose them after 5 years. Thats like me losing my sister at age 5, my sister means the world to me and finding out we have a limited amount of time to spend time with her I'd be extremely depressed forever and ever. I don't want to be so deeply in love with my child just to lose them sooner or later. I'm scared of being extremely depressed and heartbroken and i know losing my child would drive me into depression. I'd rather just have the abortion, instead of getting to know my child & learning to love my child too much to lose them. It may sound harsh to get an abortion; i know but its just to save my feelings and also for my child. For them to just experience 5 years of life then just die.
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